This is a question
that many of the people I know would ask me when I met them here in the US. And
I would think, “Yeah! Jesus, the guy who cleans my car.” Jesus was also my aunt
in Peru. Of course in my country there are plenty of Jesuses that I know. A little
after, I found out that was the question that these people would ask me to see
if I was Christian.
Am I a Christian?
You will give your verdict after you are done reading my blog. But for sure I
was surprised at how many churches and Christian denominations we have here in
the U.S. I come from a country in which the majority is raised Catholic. Some
practice Catholicism and others just have it as a tradition. So I assume that it
couldn’t get any more religious than Peru. Well, I was wrong.
Back in my young
years, many Catholics (including myself) were very reluctant of the evangelical
churches. Some of us we would avoid them; they always had something to say
about Jesus, and it was not the Jesus who cleans my car or my aunt, LOL. So I would
always be very polite and just tell them I was not interested in hearing about
it.
So far you guys
may notice my TrueSelf, right? I am big on being me, being transparent, and
being the way I want to be no matter what. Well, I have been that way pretty
much all of my life. I was never a practicing Catholic, and as soon as I could
make my own decisions I did it my way. I was baptized Catholic, and I had to do
the First Communion. When the time came for Confirmation, I skipped it during
my high school years. College came, and there was an opportunity to be confirmed,
so I took a chance to prepare for that. After a few months, I was advised by
the priest not to be confirmed. I was okay with that, but the next year it
looked that it would be pretty convenient to just be confirmed since the guy I
was dating was Catholic and in case our relationship would get us to matrimony
that would be a good idea. So I shut my mouth this time, I agreed with
everything they said, and voilà, I got confirmed.
I am so grateful
for the family I had. My mom let me think on my own and speak up. Nobody really
got in your religious business; it was fabulous. After a few years when I moved
to Colorado, I was blessed to date someone who was not a religious guy. Thank
goodness or this would not have taken us anywhere. We got married, in a courthouse,
and when our baby boy was born we did not baptize him in spite of all the
advice of how wonderful that would be. My TrueSelf kicked in and that is how we
lived for a few more years.
But life loves
giving us experience, doesn’t it? Because I am social and extroverted and like
being friends with everybody, guess with what group of people I became friends?
With Christians. And hey, you might be a Christian, and that is totally fine.
Hopefully you don’t take this personally, this is just my perception. Well, for
me it felt it was the Christian club: you had to belong and agree that was the
only way to God. People would start with their questions: if I knew who Jesus
was, if I was a believer. With my TrueSelf face I would give them a look and say,
“A believer?” Yeah, I believe many things. It felt like a club, and yes I know
who Jesus was (and again I am not talking about the guy who cleans the car or
my aunt). I am talking about the son of Mary. Not me, Mary, LOL. So when I said,
“Yes, I know,” so many of those people wanted to know if I accepted him as my
lord and savior. And I would flatly answer: “No, I don’t need to be saved.”
Well, being my
TrueSelf with church here in Colorado has been very difficult and painful. Many
people would tell me to just lie or just follow whatever they said. Who cares?
Well, I cared. As strong as some of these Christians would feel about their
beliefs, I felt equally strong in telling them that I didn’t believe the same.
But that didn’t stop me from hanging out with many of them. Some let me be;
some wanted to convert me; some still ask me how I feel about Jesus, and I have
to keep telling myself: “Mary, they are not talking about your aunt.”
I got so tired
about all this Jesus thing. I kind of wanted to yell: “Leave me alone!!” But
life again surprised me, and my husband became a Christian. Oh my God! It felt
like a back stabbing thing for me. So because of that, I became more involved
with Christianity. I thought I had to support my husband, and that is what I
did. But that made me feel even more sure of what I believed, and I was happy
that I was not “in the club.”
They keep talking
about unity and how they can get more people to convert to the Jesus’ way. Well,
that doesn’t cut it for me. I feel pretty much that they outcast other people.
They say they don’t; I already had a talk about that, but they do. There are many
ways to get from point A to B, and for me there is no “only way to God.” I
totally understand how Christians feel about Jesus. How do I know? I have been
in plenty of Bible study groups. I have gone to church numerous times, and I
live with a Christian who discusses the Bible on a regular basis. So I get
their point and I respect it, but quite often I do not feel respected for my
beliefs. They think the more they teach me that I might see the light, well I
am the light according to me, so that does not work.
Whatever is your
path I accept it; your own truth is your truth. Maybe being my TrueSelf is
inconvenient for some, and for me as well a couple of times, but it is worth
it. It makes me stronger in my beliefs and in my path. Now I walk even stronger
because of those who rejected me. I can say without guilt and shame that this
is me. If I sin, it is my choice, and if I do, let me regret it or enjoy it.
Just let me be.
To end this Jesus
blog, who do I think Jesus the son of Mary is? I think Jesus is you; Jesus is
your neighbor; we are all equal to Jesus. He was a teacher of being his
TrueSelf; he was even killed trying to be his own truth. His level of consciousness
is one that we all should aim to have. Some of you are closer and some of you
are not. But who cares; it is your path. I believe that being your TrueSelf will
get you there.
If you love Jesus
or you don’t, I tell you that you are fine, you are beautiful and you are worthy.
Life is amazing, but yet I still don’t understand many things about it. In other blogs I will talk more about religion, my
relationship with church, my arguments with priests and what I think God is. And
thank you to all of my many Christian friends that still accept me for who I
am.
Stay to your
TrueSelf
Me
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