Being present and being visible was always a part of me. I was
very fortunate to be around a beautiful family and fortunate to have my
struggles that took me where I am now. This journey that I picked before coming
into this world was not always easy, but it was the journey I picked, and so
far I say that it was worth it.
Some people would say that I was a rebellious child, which a
totally disagree with. I always had good manners and really did not get in
trouble too much. I obeyed the rules if they sounded smart to me. My personal
opinion of a rebellious kid was someone who disobeyed in a disrespectful manner
and did not want to hear what others had to say or would always do the
opposite. Now that I think about it, I did all that actually but for very
different reasons. I invite you to read some of my reasons, my whys and my
life.
When I was very young, my mom put me in many lessons, not sure
if it was to be entertained or to know a lot, but all I remember is that I took
several programs: drawing classes, ballet, flute, xylophone, piano, cooking,
etc.
I don’t remember the exact age, but I remember being young and
had a drawing class where the teacher put in the middle of the table a banana,
an apple, and other fruits in a bowl. She gave us instructions on how to draw
them. I started to draw them, but it was not fun. Who wanted to draw that? Not
me! So, I made the decision to draw a scene that I had in my head: mountains, trees,
flowers, all happiness. A few minutes later, the teacher came and said that it was
not okay. This scenario would happen often until they talked to my mom and told
her that maybe that class was not a good fit for me. My mom tried to convince
me to follow the instructions, but I would politely say no because it did not
make sense for me to do something I really did not want to do. Why was it that
terrible to have a child in this class that was not following instructions? It looked
like the problem was that other kids wanted to copy me and do what they wanted
too, which I thought was great, but not for the teacher. So no more drawing
classes.
Later on, my mom really wanted me to learn piano. The family said,
“Oh look, she has long, skinny fingers.” For whatever reason, they thought I
had pianist hands. So months later, I had a private tutor who came to my house
and taught me how to play piano. What a boring class for me. The poor guy tried
to teach me, but I guess I was unteachable. I did not want to learn that way
and just wanted to have fun. The class got better when my grandma joined us,
and we would dance to the song that the teacher would play until one day my mom
caught us dancing and having a great time. A little while after, the teacher
said that I refused to follow his instructions so no more piano classes.
When Christmas time came, it was not that exciting for me. I
had to participate every year in a live nativity thing with the church. I did
not want to do that, but my grandma would say, “Please do it. “It is just once,
and that way we helped the lady who organized all that.” Imagine if drawing
classes were boring for me, whatever had to do with the church was hell for me.
So, after a few years playing the angels, the virgin, and the 3 wise men,
finally it was my time to say no more.
For those that don’t know much about Peru, my country, it has
all kinds of beautiful people, all colors and shapes. For whatever reason, I
felt that socioeconomics and the way you look was very important around me when
I was a kid and through my adult life. So, as many Peruvians, I was supposed to
hang out with people “like me” or “better looking” or with “more money”. Parents
really would not say only to have friends like this and that, but it was
expected. I even remember my family trying to make me be friends with these
girls (white and with money) not because of that but just because they were the
grandkids of my grandma’s friends. I swear to God that I tried, but it was
literally the same outcome that my other attempts to do something that I did
not want to do. Finally, my family gave up trying to tell me who should be my
friends or not.
When I was 10 years old, I had my first birthday party. I
don’t know why I never wanted to celebrate my birthday, but this time was
special. I had a friend from my school that was of color. I was not that
polite, so I called her my black friend. I was so excited that I invited this
girl; she was the only black friend I had, and I was so proud of it. (Mind you
I was just turning 10.) A few people said to me, “Are you sure you want her at
your party? Maybe some people of your family or friends would feel a little uncomfortable
if she is there”, not only because she was black, but also because her mom sold
fruit at the local market. Really? So with that said, I decided to make my
black friend the special guest of my party (my friend did not know this). When
my party started, I made sure every single person there acknowledged her, said
hi to her, and at the end the plan was to take her to her home, even if she
lived in a neighborhood that had a bad reputation. I did not care, and my
family supported me.
With all these examples, you can decide if I was being
rebellious or my TrueSelf. Some think I was rebellious because I had to respect
other peoples’ feelings. For me I was being my TrueSelf. I was doing what I
thought were the right things focusing on the most important thing for me, being
kind, bringing joy and being a good example. Having this personality was not
easy and still is not easy. I did not fit in many groups, and I have lost
friends. Believe it or not, that still happens now. But I am willing to deal
with the consequences of being my TrueSelf because I was created to be it, to
live it, to breathe it.
Now I realize that those people who often did what society
expected to, knowing very deeply that was not the best, are not happy, are not
living to their fullest potential and fear drives their lives. I love who I was
and who I have become. My mom told me several times that it was sometimes
inconvenient for her when I had my very strong opinions, but she also said she
was very proud of me for not letting fear drive my life.
Being your TrueSelf is not easy sometimes. The more you care
about what others say, the more difficult it will be to be you. But the outcome
is so worth it. You probably will live your life more from a place of love than
fear. You will attract the magic of the world just because you are your TrueSelf.
You will have so many amazing people around you just because likes attracts
likes. Stress will be reduced just because you focus on what is really
important. Life will autocorrect your life to make you be your TrueSelf, whether
you like it or not. Sometimes those autocorrections come in nice experiences
and other times not.
To live a life of purpose can be tricky. We are so distracted
with our everyday life. If you know someone or you yourself are ready to
transform, and ready to take your life to the next level, don’t forget that I
am here to support you through your journey. Wherever you are, we can work
together thanks to the amazing technology we get to enjoy on a daily basis.
Don’t wait for a wakeup call. Don’t wait for the right time. The time is now.
Contact me if you are interested.
Be proud of your TrueSelf
Me
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