02/06/2017
Hello
everybody. I hope you had a terrific weekend. I was trying to think about what I
could blog about. Many subjects came to mind like marriage, terrorism, etc. But
while drinking my coffee, my heart told me exactly what road to take. Is it a
controversial subject? Yes, it is. But I did not become a blogger to just write
about easy subjects.
What
comes to mind when you hear the word “homosexual”? Gay? Transgender? Many
things come to my mind, especially how I grew up. I don’t remember someone specifically
telling me that was wrong, but I assumed it was wrong just because those who
were homosexuals were bothered, insulted and made fun of. I could see the
judging eyes of everybody towards these individuals. I remember if a girl was a
tomboy how she would be called names, and if a boy was too delicate the same.
I
remember in my neighborhood in Peru there were a few lesbians around, and when
they said hello to me I would just ignore them. I was terrified they could like
me as a woman. Also at school when we went on a trip and one of the students was
a lesbian, I remember just covering myself just because I thought that even the
thought of her looking at me was disgusting. The only homosexuals with whom I would
have a conversation were our hair dressers. For some reason I was ok with them.
Who was going to guess the transformation I was going to have through the years
about this subject that now some of my finest friends are homosexuals.
Going
back (because that is what I do), I look for answers. I want to be informed as
to why the heck I thought that. Did I have a bad experience? Why were we so afraid?
Who told us to think that way? Before the church even came to play a big role
in society, ancient cultures have had all kinds of relationships: woman with
man, woman with woman, men with men, adults with kids, etc. So I am assuming
when the church (in this case I am talking about the Catholic Church) came to
play a role in society, they just said it was against God to engage in such
relationships and that there would be a form of punishment. Sometimes I wonder
whoever made the rule might probably be really afraid because they had some
homosexual inclinations. Who knows? At the end, most of us have been raised
with a form of a religious organization telling us what to think, how to
behave, etc. And when I talk about this, there is always someone telling me
what the Bible says. (I will tell you what I think about the Bible in another
blog.)
Now
I am more aware of the world and its differences. I have gone deep into my
relationship with that power; some call it God, Buddha, Universe, Earth, or whatever
you want to call it. I can see more clearly now. I see that we must embrace our
differences and even celebrate them to have a more loving world. We might not
agree on everything, but we must respect each other and be compassionate.
There
have been so many cases of unfortunate endings. That people were gay and
because they could not accept their TrueSelf they just killed themselves. Others
married the opposite sex and had many kids to prove to their families that they
were “normal,” so nobody questioned them. Others escaped with their lovers against
the odds and lived separate lives from their families. Others just died inside
not telling people who they really were. I can’t even imagine the pain some homosexuals
can go through. And then we wonder why some of them decide to hurt themselves
using drugs and getting into abusive relationships if nobody is teaching them
to love themselves just the way they are. I am so grateful I live in the United
States; I am not saying that here there is not discrimination, but at least I
see more openmindedness. When you make the decision to see life with love and
not judging eyes, you will see what God shows you. Let me tell few of my
examples.
At
my son’s school, I remember there was this party in the classroom where I would
see these two moms together. I thought that maybe it was the mom and the aunt.
You could see they were really involved in this kid’s life. It still feels awkward
for me; after all, I grew up with very different beliefs. I kept telling myself
not to judge. I went to this couple and introduced myself, and they both told
me they were the moms of this kid. Guess what? They were as decent as me! They
had three wonderful kids, and the most amazing thing was that this particular
situation was not even strange for the kids. I love my kid’s school. I remember
also meeting two lesbians that adopted two kids. Their story was so touching,
and the amount of love they had to give to these little boys was farther than I
could imagine. The security they offered to those kids who had been abused by their
heterosexual parents blew my mind. There was also a woman/man who helps at the
garden at my church has such a positive disposition in helping the kids every
summer. I remember my son asking me, “Is that person a woman or a man?” I was
honest: “I think she used to be a man, but now she wants to be a woman.” And my
son just said “Okay.” You see? He is not growing up with the ideas I did
because I made sure not to pass my old beliefs on to him that really don’t
serve our society anymore.
It
also has broken my heart when I see people who really want to come out and say
they are gay but because their families are very involved with church they
choose not to. I have heard parents say, “Well, I will support my kid if they
are gay, even if it breaks my heart.” Really? Do you think your kid would come
to you to tell you they are gay after they hear you say that is not the way to
God? That you are still disappointed? Your kids want mom and dad happy; they
don’t want to cause any pain.
I
am glad to say that now after so many years of trying to dispose some of my old
beliefs and live by example, I accept people of different sexual orientations. Hopefully
I can show my family and friends that we can change all those old patterns that
didn’t let us accept people. When my mom came to visit, I had the pleasure to
show her firsthand what amazing gay friends I have. She got to see my two
female friends who have an amazing marriage, and to be honest they love each
other so much after going through tough times. Even me having a heterosexual
relationship, I would have some issues dedicating to my spouse the way they do
to each other. She also met my very good friend who is gay, with whom I can
spend hours talking about everything and be able to see how amazing and
contagious his relationship with God is.
I
had people asking me how I would feel if my son becomes a homosexual. Well, I
don’t know if you can become so or am not sure if you are born that way or how
all this happens. I have spoken to my husband about it since he is a Christian
and a very Bible-oriented dude; I thought we had to talk about that. I was relieved
to hear him say: “If he is gay, I hope he adopts many babies because I want to
have grandchildren.”
We
live in times now that life tests how much love we have inside. For me, it is
obvious that life will push us hard to become our TrueSelf. I have seen some
people come out because they want to say to the world, “Yes, I am.” Churches
are starting to welcome homosexuals, and I choose to welcome them too. I choose
to raise my son around a society where you can be who you are. I don’t judge
those who still have a hard time dealing with this issue because I have been
there. All I can say is that I am so glad I have my gay friends because they
have shown me another way of acceptance, and for that I will be eternally
grateful. Without them, this shift in my beliefs probably would not have
happened.
Coexist
Me
No comments:
Post a Comment